Monday, February 20, 2006

Love thy neighbor?

In which cartoons begat violence.

The spotting of a 5 year old child's cartoons during Catholic Mass caused near-violence in Fraters Libertas stalwart JB Doubtless. Known as a man of peace, JB was swept up in the moment upon seeing the cartoons, which offended his sensibilities.

"I was at a boiling point within 30 seconds", said JB, still shaken by the incident.

It was the cartoons. The bad, bad cartoons.

"My wife could tell that I was getting incensed and tried to calm me but it wasn't helping much."

Because JB is a man of peace, onlookers anticipated a lively, yet civil, exchange between he and the objects of his scorn. But it wasn't to be.

"...I had visions of grabbing the guy by his cotton sweater and dragging him out to the parking lot for a thorough thrashing", JB exclaimed with out-of-character intensity.

Witnesses describe JB's transformation from perspicacious penitent to a seething, wild-eyed zealot.

The air was thick with tension.

But just as soon as it started, it stopped. JB realized that they were just cartoons after all. "After about 5 minutes I just kind of turned around and laughed", and the people sighed with relief as peace prevailed at Mass on a chilly winter morning.